The Journal #4
Coping. Scales. Curveball. Spray.
01. PSYCHOLOGY - Joe Gaunt
Venus vs Mars - Who’s coping best?
A big risk for men that impacts health but also often their wider lifestyle and loved ones is ‘coping’ and coping strategies.
Many men feel like they have to be the ‘strong one’ and take on any daily pressures or stress to help others cope, but there's still a stigma around seeking help for many.
Females are much better on average at seeking help from a health professional, therefore applying a positive coping strategy for a number of important issues.
Men generally are more likely to engage in risk behaviours and apply these to what is termed ‘negative coping’ strategies such as drinking alcohol, taking drugs, gambling and watching porn.
This is often referred to as the ‘health paradox’ in that women seek more professional health support but tend to live longer. However, it only really takes the application of common sense to see that those seeking positive coping get more positive longer term outcomes.
A man’s negative coping often relates to a well known and frequently seen psychological concept known as ‘avoidance’. It also relates to attaining dopamine, yet both elements are focused on changing our state of mind to cope.
The great news is that you can replace or manage many negative coping strategies. Yes, even if you’ve done something a long time. Yes, even if it might mean friends take the mick at first.
Positive coping strategies are known to deliver as much or more dopamine than negative ones and change your state of mind for the better. No, you don't have to do them all and it's about finding what works for you over time.
Examples;
Walking or running in nature and looking at greenery, water and trees
Lifting weights
Mindfulness, meditation and journaling
Learning and hobbies - a sense of focus, and growth for self
Social connections (that don’t just revolve around booze)
Eating whole, non processed foods focused on balance between calorie management, protein and the 80/20 rule of eating healthy to treats.
Sleep - consistency and quality - in my opinion the most underrated tool at our disposal
Giving - so much research links to giving back and helping others as a big driver for positive wellbeing
02. HEALTH - Jonny Grayshon
To weigh or not to weigh…that is the question.
Do you jump on the scales each week to check body weight, only to be left feeling cheesed off if the number isn’t what you were expecting?
But you did everything right!?
You trained hard.
Ate well.
But you’re 1kg up!!?
It must be 1kg of fat that’s just developed from nowhere!?
What's the point!!
Well, did you know body weight fluctuates each day (even if you’re doing everything right) due to hydration levels, salt intake, carb intake, sleep quality, stress levels, digestive function…even if you’ve taken a flight.
So the day you chose to weigh could be on the high body weight fluctuation day which isn’t a true representation of your progress.
If you know this, and you’re able to keep calm each time you step on that sad step, crack on. There’s nothing to worry about.
But if you often let your emotions override logic, consider weighing yourself every single day, first thing in the morning, and take a 7 day average across the week.
This will give you a much more accurate weekly weigh in and help you to see your progress more clearly.
03. MINDSET - Mike Bates
Curveball.
No plan survives contact with the enemy.
A mantra drilled into every Royal Marine recruit as they navigate the unrelenting Commando course on the windswept banks of the River Exe.
It’s one of life’s harsh truths and a very real one.
We can plan but planning is not reality.
And you have very little control over reality whether you like it or not.
I take our dog for a walk every morning, usually with my wife. We walk pretty much the same route each day and our dog, Ziggy - aka The Zigmiester General - aka The General, is known throughout the neighbourhood as being super friendly (he’s never so much as snarled at a passing pooch!).
Yesterday my wife was away and so I braved the rain and took Ziggy out on his walk alone.
I let him off his lead in a wide open space and he began sniffing (as Staffies love to do).
And then another dog entered the park with his owner.
Both dogs locked eyes on one another and the other dog barked.
I blinked.
Both dogs flew at each other.
Contact!
It only lasted for only a few seconds but it was shocking to witness.
Alfie, the other dog, was left whimpering and unable to put his front leg down.
Ziggy had bit Alfie 3 times in the melee and drawn blood.
It wasn’t what I was expecting that morning but it had happened.
A proper curveball and one I needed to deal with quickly.
My instinct, stood there still in a state of shock, was to fight back myself.
‘Your dog went first’.
‘It was just one of those things’.
But reason got the better of me and I apologised to the equally shocked owner of Alfie.
We sat together on a nearby bench and made sure Alfie was ok. We exchanged phone numbers.
I committed to paying the vet bill regardless of blame. Alfie had come off worse and that was the main thing to rectify.
We shook hands and agreed to put it down to experience.
All was normal once more and Ziggy spent the rest of the day remorseful in bed.
Sometimes shit happens and there’s nowt you can do about it.
The key is how you deal with any unplanned situation, not the situation itself.
Learning perspective and empathy is something that, for many like me, only came in mid-life.
The wisdom and experience to be honest and to accept responsibility no matter what.
To expect the unexpected.
I presented later that day to an online audience about The Art of Resilience. I told that story and ended that presentation with this quote from Viktor Frankl;
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Embrace the curveball as an opportunity to grow.
04. QUOTE
“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.”
Seneca
05. TIP
There’s been an illness in and around our family all winter.
The 100 day cough, covid, bronchitis.
Both of my kids and my wife have been down with it.
I on the other hand (for the first time ever) have avoided any symptoms.
I’m pretty certain that it’s because I’ve added a Vitamin D3000 + K2 mouth spray to my morning routine.
It’s been the only thing the others haven’t used and I reckon it’s kept me healthy all winter.
It supports normal immune function, bone health, blood clotting and tastes really good.
At NXT45 we recommend this oral spray from BetterYou.
3 sprays a day keeps the doctor away!
The Journal by NXT45
