The Journal #35
Reframing. HYROX. Viral. Belief.
01. PSYCHOLOGY - Joe Gaunt
Reframing - Part 2
Remember Part 1 in last week’s issue?
How did you get on? Find it easy to see/ separate thoughts? Could you see how a thought on something influenced how you felt and how you may have acted?
Ok let’s move on to step 2. Replacement thoughts.
So hopefully you have a list of a few things from this week. Now I want you to take one of those thoughts and write a replacement thought next to it.
Example
‘I need a drink’ to ‘Im feeling like a drink but don’t need one. Instead I am going to go for a walk/run/ lift weights/ learn/ read/ listen to music/ a podcast’.
With the benefit of reflection we can come up with the right thing to do when the feeling is not high and in the moment. Then we can start to work on what we call reframing the thought and impacting the resulting feeling and behaviour.
One recent real example with a client was a highly successful Director managing over £100m revenue. But this client had self doubt when presenting information at board meetings/ conference calls.
Thoughts ‘I am going to fuck this up’ ‘I don’t belong on this call’ ‘ I am going to make a fool of myself’.
We worked on some replacement thoughts like
‘I am here on merit’ ‘I am an expert in my field and know the answers’ ‘I am prepared’.
Linked to some coaching around communication the results for this individual where huge. Several line managers emailing and calling to say how well the individual delivered, asking what changed noting the difference.
But this was still the same person, same departmental knowledge, nearly the same skills. They just refamed, thought differently, felt differently and delivered a more effective behaviour.
So to summarise - thoughts are not facts, we can control thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Reframe thoughts for better outcomes!
Joe
02. HEALTH - Challenge
HYROX
Unless you’ve been living on a different planet in recent years you’ll have heard of HYROX.
Dubbed as ‘The Fitness Competition for Every Body’ it’s pretty much taken over the Crossfit mantle as the go-to hybrid fitness challenge.
HYROX Race’s are balloted and it’s virtually impossible to get a ticket (I recently spent a morning in the queue and never even made it to the ticketing page).
But yesterday I just happened to be clearing my emails when one landed from HYROX - ‘Final Ticket Release!’.
I jumped on it and landed at number 743 in the queue. 521. 398. 124. 43….
And then I got in! I completed my purchase for Mixed Doubles, Manchester, November 2024 (I’m planning on taking my wife for a romantic, sick-inducing beasting in the city….she’s a lucky woman!).
Then the panic set in. Only 5 weeks to prepare. A call my to coach was made.
To be honest I didn’t want much time to prepare. I want to see where I’m at right now, how prepared are we as a couple to face a challenge like this together? A physical metaphor for life? Guess we’ll find out.
I’ll follow up in subsequent issues with preparation updates and let you know how we get on with the race itself but if you have been residing on another planet here’s what we are in for:
1km run
1000m ski erg
1km run
50m sled push (152kg)
1km run
50m sled pull (102kg)
1km run
80m burpee broad jumps
1km run
1000m row erg
1km run
200m farmers carry (2x 24kg)
1km run
100m walking lunges (20kg)
1km run
100 wall balls (6kg)
Wish me luck!
03. MINDSET - Mike Bates
Viral
This week someone I’m connected to spoke of being the subject of online hate.
The hate had started recently and was related to the way that person looked (they are in great shape).
They were clearly suffering, hurt and questioning themselves and the choices they were making in their life.
It wasn’t nice to hear and it brought back a few memories of my own experience at the hands of the trolls.
Some years ago a former Jiu-Jitsu student of mine approached me and asked if they, along with a small and select number of other students (their friends), could train together whilst our academy was closed. The student in question had a private facility which they planned to utilise and wanted to badge as a session linked to our academy.
My initial thoughts were, of course, this is great that you all want to train and hang out.
And then I thought about the hundreds of other students (perhaps who thought they were in this friendship group also) who would not be invited. Those who perhaps would love to train but who were not being offered the opportunity.
It didn’t match the inclusive community I had worked hard to establish and if I’m honest it just didn’t feel right.
I said no and explained my position.
In my response I drew my student’s attention to my concerns about how others might be made to feel excluded and offered a number of suggestions which might still enable the training to take place but be a more appropriate way forward for everyone.
Perhaps they could offer an invite to everyone in our community but cap the numbers to make it manageable?
Maybe they could just do something privately without it being linked to our academy?
They chose instead to not run the session.
They also chose to share my personal and private response with a rival business under the guise of ‘asking for advice’.
They knew full well what was likely to happen.
You guessed it, the rival business, seeing this as an opportunity to damage my personal and professional reputation and that our our academy, posted a snippet of my response (not the positive elements or the suggestions of creating a solution suitable for all) on Reddit and claimed that I was ‘demanding that my students not train Jiu-Jitsu or hang out with their friends’.
The headline: ‘Professor Mike - Cult Leader’
The article went viral for a couple of weeks across a number of platforms and amassed 250+ comments, scores of reshares and some pretty awful and slanderous rhetoric. In addition, I received several personal and hateful messages and plenty of threats of violence in the comments.
The campaign fizzled out but not before a Halloween costume of me styled as ‘The Joker’ was created, packaging and all, and posted online for purchase.
In a perverse way I was impressed by the quality of the design. I even considered buying one. Then sense go a hold of me again.
These things hurt no matter how thick one’s skin has developed over the many years of holding fast to the values and virtues one believes most strongly in. The very nature of distilling a worldview into a set of values and virtues sets you at odds to those who don’t agree. And, both of you are at odds to anyone intent of hate for the thrill of it.
At the point this campaign did the rounds online I had built a successful business and overtaken most of those in the same space within a couple of years. How? We were different. We put community and fairness before everything else as that is what I believe in. We were values led.
It was only a matter of time before someone tried to pull it all down.
Tall Poppy Syndrome is real.
I replied to the person who was hurt by their own experience of becoming a ‘Tall Poppy’ this week and shared with them something that was said to me as I navigated the online cesspit.
‘No one speaks of the unsuccessful’.
I always think of that when the inevitable haters come calling, shears in hand and on the look out for that one poppy sticking it’s brightly coloured head above the others as they do In Flanders Fields.
Success leaves clues and some element of unwarranted criticism or hate is usually a sure sign that you are doing things right.
When you face it just smile.
Don’t let others cut you down to their size.
Stay true to your values and keep on growing.
04. QUOTE
‘Have you heard this one? It’ll kill you, Batman!’ - The Joker
08. TIP
Self-confidence and self-belief are crafted over time.
It’s our small and regular actions that contribute to our ability to withstand the storm when it eventually finds us in life (and it will).
Are you regularly contributing to your own self-confidence and self-belief systems? If not, here’s our top 5 tips on how to start:
- Stop comparing yourself to others - ‘Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today’.
- Quit the negative self-talk - You’ll find enough enemies as you navigate life, don’t add to that number by being one of them.
- See failure as a gift - Understand that failure is the price paid for your successes in the future.
- Connect with others - We all need support sometimes and sometimes we need to offer our support to others. Nothing good happens alone.
- Celebrate your wins - Don’t look past the little wins along the journey. Every win is a step nearer to the person you wish to become.
We believe that when men live happier, healthier & more fulfilled lives…everyone wins! - NXT45
The Journal by NXT45
